Bear My Breath

Your mind... It created peak that will take us all with it ✌️😔 (this game is so wild I'm gonna need time to recover)

The premise of this story is pretty good

SPOILERS BELOW

A town seemingly stuck in time for decades, with barely any visitors and access to technology.

A mystery town which may or may not bend time, nice!

I particularly liked the start with its flowery style of writing and descriptions.

However, it felt weird to get this fancy speech from all the characters, and eventually it got a bit tiring.

The characters' reactions was also weird, like the public undressing first acted as normal and then as indecent.

Maybe that's part of the town's influence, like a supernatural effect

Overall, it was good read, and the premise is really interesting!

Here my analysis regarding Bear My Breath.

I'll be honest.

The beginning was uncomfortable of read.

Because I feel like the visual novel was a combination of the story and fantasies of the own author of the game?

And that was one of the main problems that made it difficult for me to read, since the type of relationship there was with the 2 characters presented in the story felt very rushed.

Although I have a theory that this was intentional because of what the story tries to unfold in the town where these things happen.

Almost halfway through the game this takes a normal and fluid direction, which is why the visual novel ends in an acceptable way, just I feel that the ending is very rushed.

But as the description of your game says, it seems that you plan to expand it so you may fix it in the future. 

In summary: It's a decent story but it needs a little polishing in the introductory part, especially with one of the characters in the story since he only appeared for a moment and was forgotten from there, and try not to combine too much the fantasies that I mentioned earlier since it felt a little strange to read, maybe reduce it or give a good development of how this love story originates.

That's all I can say, improve your project and see you in the next update for a new rate!

this game was wordier than I expected.
...hrm the. protag is gonna be a real big fish out of water once they make their way to the city

Interesting premise but it's a bit weird to talk about real dates and events and then have a fictional language and countries.

That story by itself definitely feels incomplete. I can feel the choices waiting to be implemented.

I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of this.